Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Harsh Reality
One Sunday a few weeks ago I was in the kitchen fixing dinner and the view from my kitchen window is the apartment complex playground, and I saw parents out there with their kids playing and spending time with each other. Seeing all of that it brought me to tears because it made me realize that all I want is to be a mom. With Halloween passed and Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching my reality has become more clear; leaving me to think will I ever be a mom. Being an aunt is great but I want more than anything to be a mom. What makes it harder is that MOST of my friends have kids. I long to be a mom my heart aches whenever I think about it. Because of my ex-husband I don't even want a man right now if fact I don't know if I ever want one again, which makes it even harder to have a kid. I would adopt but it costs money and they usually want the child to have a mother and a father. Being inseminated costs money, as well as IVF. I guess this is one I will have to leave in the Lords hands. Thanks for reading.
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Hang in there! I was married, once before. I never knew if I would love again, after the heart break of my first marriage. I longed to be a mommy, too. It all happend. It just took time...I never thought it would. I really didn't and I thought all these thoughts you have described. And, it usually comes to you, when you least expect it. I wish you well and I hope things work out for you, as I am sure they will.
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