But before my bonus son came to live with us my husband had to keep traveling to Washington for court, so he missed some Dr. appointments which leads me to one of the darkest times in my life. I was 14 weeks along when I went in to hear the heartbeat when I heard the 4 words that every expectant doesn't want to hear........"There is no heartbeat" I was in shock in fact I thought the technician was joking until he said that my baby was the size it should be for 12 weeks gestation. My OBGYN talked to me about my options, so I waited for a few weeks to see if baby would come on his/her own. When I left the doctors office I called my husband he was in the airport on his way home from Washington and the flood gates open as i told him I lost our baby. When baby didn't come I had to have him/her surgically removed. By then we had our son year old with us.
It has been tough dealing with my grief and raising a child, but I'm a tough chick and I take everything one day at a time. My grief still comes in waves, there are times I'm okay going down the baby isle in stores and other times not so much. Sometimes it's hard for me to see babies or hear birth announcements, but I will still be happy for others even though I hurt on the inside. Despite all of this pain I do see beauty and happiness in my son's laughter, and his beautiful heart and his amazing soul.
We also started a new adventure by moving from Utah to Arizona where we have been living since June of this year. Our son is in 4th grade and making friends all the time. He says he loves it here except for the heat! It's been an interesting experience so far but I look forward to all the adventures yet to come.
Thanks for reading
His First day of 4th grade
Family Picture
