Last post of 2011!

This week I have been reflecting back on my life and I have realized that I don't really feel like I have done much with my life. I mean here I am in my mid-thirties still "living at home" cause I can't afford to live on my own, and feeling like I haven't really lived life, and I feel like I haven't made a difference in anybody's life. Now I'm not having a pity party it's just how I have been feeling. So I have decided that in 2012 I am going to make some changes in my life! I am going to try to make a difference in someone's life at least once a week, and I am going to try to better myself in the process! I am going to make 2012 the BEST year that I can! When I get knocked down I will continue to get back up and keep going, nothing is going to get in my way of happiness!  

Harsh Reality

One Sunday a few weeks ago I was in the kitchen fixing dinner and the view from my kitchen window is the apartment complex playground, and I saw parents out there with their kids playing and spending time with each other. Seeing all of that it brought me to tears because it made me realize that all I want is to be a mom. With Halloween passed and Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching my reality has become more clear; leaving me to think will I ever be a mom. Being an aunt is great but I want more than anything to be a mom. What makes it harder is that MOST of my friends have kids. I long to be a mom my heart aches whenever I think about it. Because of my ex-husband I don't even want a man right now if fact I don't know if I ever want one again, which makes it even harder to have a kid. I would adopt but it costs money and they usually want the child to have a mother and a father. Being inseminated costs money, as well as IVF. I guess this is one I will have to leave in the Lords hands. Thanks for reading.  

9/11/01 I will NEVER forget May God be with those who lost loved ones on that day! I will be forever grateful to all of the hero's of that day!

Letting Go!

For the past year and a half I have had some very angry feelings & thoughts about my ex & myself I have been harboring them for far to long. So now I will be working on letting go of those feelings & thoughts I can't truly move on if I hold on to them. I can't start dating if I have issues like this, so I'm ready to start forgiving him and myself so that I can start finding happiness!

Frustration!

Why is it that when you want to get to know someone they treat you badly or ignore you because of your looks without giving you a chance or even getting to know you! Are all men PIGS? Or are there decent men out there who aren't vein, who will want to get to know you even if you are fat? What is so wrong with me? This is why I hated being single when I was younger and I was skinny then, and I was still invisible to attractive men! Maybe I WILL be better off single the rest of my life! Well thanks for listening to my rantings!

Realization

So I have been doing a lot of soul searching this past month and I know that I am happy! And I mean truly happy I used to hate being single I would always see my friends getting married and I would think when is it my turn? So I think that because I was so lonely I settled for the one person who seemed to be "Mr. Right" but really I think he was really "Mr. Right Now" don't get me wrong I DID love my Ex husband and I learned a lot from him. However I think this time around I want to really be single even though at times I do get lonely I can handle it. Then maybe in a few years I will be ready to get married but it's just not for me right now! As much as I think a lot of people want to see me in a healthy relationship, I need time to find myself, I will still continue to date and meet people I am just not in a hurry to get married!
Thanks as always for listening

Mac

                                                Mac I will miss so, you were truly a faithful companion 
                                            may you Rest in Peace! I will love you always and forever! 
                                                                          March 2, 2011


I just wanted to blog about my Dog for minute I know that he is "just a dog" but he was more than that to me I am a HUGE animal lover so for me it was devastating he followed me around everywhere I went and he always waited for me at the door when I was at work I miss him so much! Thanks for reading!
XOXO
Tiffany

Changes!

The other day I weighed myself, and lets just say I didn't like what it said. I will tell you I weigh more than I EVER have I won't tell you just how much but take my word for it it's ALOT! So I have decided to really do something about it! I am going to stop eating fatty foods, as soon as my Cherry Coke is gone no more soda for me. I am tired of being fat and feeling older than I really am. It's time for change I am one step closer I have already started to eat healthier I'm not going to do any specific diet just plain old eating right and exercise.
Thanks for listening

The new me!

It will be 1 year since my divorce has been final on February 1st, I feel like I am empty inside(what I mean by that is I feel like my life isn't going where I want it to.) I see my friends going out and having a good time living life and I feel like I am just left behind. So instead of sitting here having a pity party  I am going to start living it up I am going to work on coming out of my "inner safety" shell, and I am going to try to meet at least one new person a day! I will keep you posted on my outcome.

Christmas 2010/New Year 2011

I had a great Christmas, my brother flew in from Ohio and spent a few days with us and I spent time with family and friends which is what the holidays are about! Now it is a new year and time to "start my life over" I am so ready for a new start! One of my many resolutions is to start meeting men not to marry cause I am just not ready for that but I want to meet men the old fashioned way without the internet, it will be hard I know but that is what I want for now and if it doesn't work out then I will have to go through the internet. Well that is it for now I have to go to bed I go back to work tomorrow. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.